


we keep making mistakes

by thehaakun



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/F, pain train time, steins;gate!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:10:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehaakun/pseuds/thehaakun
Summary: Her brain said no, because it would be stupid to rip open old wounds that were just barely beginning to heal. Her heart said yes, because it was curious and most importantly, stupid, like hearts tend to be.---[F!Azurrin] (Steins;Gates 0!AU) In another reality, Azura is alive. In this one, she isn't.





	we keep making mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> ok i tried to write this in a way such that u don't need to watch steins;gate and steins;gate 0 to understand this but lets be honest steins is such a complicated ass show/concept that i think i TOTALLY MISSED THE MARK ON THIS GOAL LOL sorry if u read this and don't understand what's happening
> 
> TO BE CLEAR **AZURA IS DEAD** IN THIS JUST CONTENT WARNING LOL
> 
> anyway this was a gift for a friend who totally conned me into fucking watching Steins;Gate and now i'm suffering every week waiting for the next episode to come out for Steins;Gate 0 so i guess i'll just perish

At first, Corrin had considered not going. She had homework to do, grocery shopping to do, laundry to finish. She could make up a bunch of excuses as to why she might blow off the presentation about advanced AI from supposedly -- and she said supposedly, because Silas seemed to have his reservations on their credentials -- elite researchers from the top university in the world.

But curiosity sparked a little something in her, and she found herself going to the presentation anyway.

But maybe -- she wouldn’t admit this to herself -- the real reason she went was to see what  _ her _ colleagues were like. To talk to someone who knew her too.

To maybe mourn with someone who missed her too.

She sat down in the back, arms crossed, not quite sure what to expect. With a cautious gaze, Corrin watched with stiff shoulders as a man with blonde hair introduced his partner, a woman with lavender hair come onto the stage. They spoke of how their younger colleague --  _ her -- _ had left behind a set of papers and theories that had helped advance their research into AI before she’d passed away.

Passed away. That was one way to put it. Corrin balled her hands into fists in her lap.

A murmur arose in the audience at how young their colleague was; but nonetheless, the man and woman continued on.

What happened next had the audience gasping in shock; they truly did create a legitimate AI that responded to their queries with remarkable realism and a true sense of personality, and it was proven early enough that none of the responses were recorded. Artificial intelligence, created using the digital memories of a real person, could itself become its own ‘person,’ the blonde man argued, given enough time with human interaction. On the screen, the woman’s AI counterpart -- named  _ Amadeus _ \-- gave a nod, reciting that itself was based on memories taken four days ago.

It spoke and acted exactly as the real version of the woman on stage. Twins, alike in all manners, except one was real and one was digital.

After the presentation, Corrin stood outside the lecture hall, pinching the bridge of her nose and trying to wrap her mind around all this. 

_ Her _ research had contributed to...this  _ Amadeus. _ Her studies in memory and cognition had helped to create one of the most advanced AIs in the world, capable of passing as human. Corrin was certain the AI was real, not a fake; she’d spoken often enough with  _ her _ about the human brain and its cognitive functions to know that what Xander and Camilla had shown today had been the real deal.

A real AI. Incredible.

\---

She got the chance to speak with Xander and Camilla later that evening, at a dinner event thrown by the college to celebrate breakthrough accomplishments in science and technology. 

Again, she didn’t really know why she ended up at this dinner anyway -- she hated social functions, after  _ that _ happened, and she never quite regained the charisma she had before the incident, when it’d been so easy to just...feel happy. Without worry. Without fear. 

Standing at the punch table and moodily staring down at her empty cup, Corrin thought of leaving the dinner to go home and hang out with Sakura, or talk with Silas about the other presentations she’d been to today. But the dinner wasn’t that bad, and as a broke college student, she would never pass up the opportunity for free food.

But she might have regretted going, if she’d known Camilla had had such a sharp eye on her.

“I know you,” said a voice behind Corrin’s ear, and Corrin turned, blinking, to see Camilla standing behind her. “You were the one at the presentation today, correct?”

“I...I am.”

“Oh, wonderful.” Camilla smiled, albeit there was a shadow over her eyes as well. “I forgot your name -- you are --?”

“Corrin. I’m Corrin, ma’am.”

“Then allow me to thank you, Corrin. So many people seem to doubt the veracity of  _ Amadeus _ and its legitimacy, but I’m glad you took a stand for us.”

“It...it was the right thing to do,” Corrin said defensively; she hadn’t quite been able to rein back in the surge of anger that rose in her chest when a man had broadly proclaimed that  _ Amadeus _ was a fake -- and that Azura’s research was itself also fake. “For anyone to attempt to dismiss your work without verifying the work and truth behind it would be an insult to scientific research in general.”

“Kind of you to say that,” Camilla said smoothly. “Have you heard of Azura’s research?”

“...In a manner of speaking,” Corrin answered, looking away. “She...um…”

“Oh, goodness.” A hand came to Corrin’s shoulder, and Corrin glanced back up to see Camilla with a sad smile. “It seems like you must’ve knew Azura, when she came here to study abroad.”

Knew her.

“I...yes. I met her, while she was here.”

“Then it’s wonderful to meet you,” Camilla said. She put a comforting hand on Corrin’s arm. “I’m quite glad, you know. That Azura found friends here. She’d always been...so introverted and alone, back at home.”

Corrin tried very, very,  _ very _ hard to not think on the word ‘friends,’ because she and Azura had been  _ more _ than that.

“I’m...I’m glad I met her, too. She’s...She  _ was _ amazing,” is all Corrin managed to say, not used to saying the past tense; she rarely, if ever, spoke about it to anyone anymore -- not even to Sakura -- and somehow finding someone else who  _ knew _ her, who was also in  _ grief... _ Maybe it might help herself move on.

“Ah, I apologize, I don’t mean to...sadden you,” Camilla added, and she looked away too, hesitant and uncertain -- completely unlike the confident demeanor she’d had on stage today. Sighing, Camilla placed a hand on her hip and said softly, “It just seems as though, to me, not everyone seems to remember her.”

Corrin reached a hand up to scrunch up the fabric of her dress shirt as an iron fist seemed to grip, hard, around her ribcage. “I could never forget her. Never.”

Camilla turned her gaze to Corrin then, a flash of  _ something _ in her violet eyes. “This might sound like a strange question, but...you knew her quite well, didn’t you?”

How could she answer that question? What could she say? She’d known Azura like the back of her hand, she could remember everything about her with perfect clarity; the soft glow of her golden eyes in the morning light from the window, the way she bit her lip when she was reading, the way she’d cross her arms when Corrin said something stupid again. More memories flashed through her mind’s eye, of Azura’s smile, of Azura’s laugh, of how Azura’s lips felt on her own--

The pain slammed into her again, but instead of a punch it felt more like a hand had clenched itself around her heart, squeezing and twisting and trying to break whatever pieces of her heart were left -- Corrin clapped a hand over her mouth, turning away and hunching over as she tried to keep herself together.

Abruptly, a steady hand landed on her shoulder; and Corrin, with gasping breaths, lifted her head a little to see Camilla, her eyes full of an empathetic kind of sadness.

“I miss her, as well,” Camilla said softly. “But I must ask something of you -- it’s something I think I can only ask of someone who knew her very well.”

Corrin swallowed, not trusting herself to speak, because any word that leaves her might just damn well break the floodgates of her held-back tears.

Camilla, in that same quiet tone, continued, “It has to do with  _ Amadeus.  _ Her research.” She helped Corrin straighten up, rubbing a comforting hand on Corrin’s back. “I understand if you don’t want...to remind yourself of things, but I thought I might try and ask.”

Gulping down a breath of fresh air, Corrin breathed, “W-what is it?”

“The AI you saw today -- the one of me,” Camilla said, glancing around. “That’s not the only AI we created with someone’s memories.”

It took Corrin a second to realize the entire implication of Camilla’s statement. The emotion that shivered down her entire body, that raised goosebumps along her arms, that had her breath catching in her throat -- it shook Corrin to the core.

“I can tell you more, but at the lab. I don’t want to say too much here,” Camilla said quickly, and she straightened up, pressing a business card into Corrin’s hand. “Feel free to contact me if -- or when -- you’d like to help us with our research.”

Camilla made her leave, joining up with Xander across the room, who cast a curious glance at where Corrin stood, dumbstruck and frozen by the punch table. Shaking her head and pressing a hand to her face, Corrin breathed in deeply through her nose, exhaling through her mouth as she tried to calm the beating of her heart and the tumult of thoughts buzzing through her mind.

An AI of Azura. A real one. But...not the real Azura.

She would have to think on this more.

\---

But of course, she ended up going anyway. A few days later, Corrin stepped off the bus, checking her phone to make sure she’d really gotten off at the right stop. She glanced up when she heard a familiar voice call out to her from the sidewalk, and there before her stood Camilla with a warm smile, her hand in the pockets of her white lab coat.

Once they’d exchanged greetings and Camilla guided her to the lab a block away, Corrin found herself inside a state-of-the-art lab equipped with all the latest technology and building security; nothing at all like the dingy little apartment she rented out back at home with Silas. 

“There’s one thing I must ask of you first, Corrin,” Camilla said as she paused outside a door, holding her ID card next to a card reader. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

When Corrin said nothing, because she was still tossing the answer around in her mind even when she’d gone all the way out here to the lab already, Camilla glanced at her.

“You two were really close, weren’t you.”

Corrin swallowed and looked away. She wasn’t quite sure of when she’d ever be able to answer that kind of question, that kind of statement.

“ _ Amadeus _ , as you saw in the demo, will talk and sound exactly as she would,” Camilla continued, already knowing Corrin’s unspoken answer. “That makes it easy to be deluded.”

She opened the door, and gestured for Corrin to follow her in as she said, “You must understand, Corrin. It will seem as though you’re truly talking to her, as if she’s still alive.” They walked through a room full of lab tables and computers, with Corrin silently following Camilla as the older woman navigated through the room with ease.

Camilla stopped at another door at the end of the room and opening it with her ID card, and continued, “But the memories that this  _ Amadeus _ is built from -- it was from Azura’s memories taken this spring, before she came here to study abroad in the summer. It’ll mean  _ Amadeus _ won’t remember you, or know you. And most importantly of all,” she said, and her tone became a bit hard as she looked Corrin straight in the eye, “This  _ Amadeus _ is not the girl you became close to, and nor is she actually alive.”

When Corrin glanced away, biting her lip, Camilla reached a finger up and tilted Corrin’s head towards her again, forcing Corrin to meet her violet gaze. “Do you understand, Corrin? Do you understand and know the truth of what you’re about to do? Azura is not alive. What you are about to see -- and hear -- it is not Azura. Tell me you understand this.”

“I--I understand,” Corrin whispered, and she finally found herself confronting the truth that she’d so desperately tried not to think of for the entire autumn semester. “I...I came here, knowing all that.”

“But do you truly?” Camilla asked, and her slightly chilly tone made Corrin flinch. “Do you understand that talking to  _ Amadeus _ will only make that truth sting a little bit more? That every second you hear  _ Amadeus _ speak, that every second you see  _ Amadeus _ on that computer screen, you will be constantly reminded that Azura is  _ gone _ and there’s nothing that you, or I, or anyone can do about it? Do you understand all that?”

Forcing herself to hold Camilla’s stony gaze, Corrin said, her voice a tad stronger, “I know. I know all that. I came here to...to accept that. To...really tell myself that. That she’s truly gone. I know all that, Camilla. I  _ understand.” _

Camilla looked at her for a long moment, searching her face for any trace of doubt or delusion, but she must’ve found none for she sighed and held a hand out for Corrin to enter the next room; which itself was bare of nothing aside from a table with a single computer and two chairs.

“Alright. Then sit there, in that chair. I’ll log into the computer.”

Corrin sat still and quiet as Camilla typed her login and password, her fingers flying across the keys with a muted  _ tap tap tap _ as they both waited for the computer to boot up.

“I must ask again of you, Corrin,” Camilla said softly, turning in her seat, her arms resting on the armrests of her chair. “You can still back out now.”

Shaking her head, Corrin scooted her chair a bit closer to the screen, glancing up at the webcam that sat atop the monitor. “No. I can do this. Allow me to see  _ Amadeus.” _

Camilla moved aside so Corrin could sit in front of the computer; she felt a bit stupid for a moment, looking at the empty desktop wallpaper while the elephant in the room squeezed itself into the tiny space in the silence that followed. She wrung her hand in her lap, her other hand uncomfortably tugging at a loose thread at the hem of her shirt. Apprehension sat square in the middle of her shoulders, anxiety curled up in the bottom of her gut, but even so, she straightened up in her chair, bracing herself. She’d come this far. It was time to see this through.

“You can relax a little bit, you know,” Camilla said, amused. “It’s an AI. It takes time to load all the data and run the program.”

“I’m...I know that! I’m, I’m just, you know,” Corrin stammered as she turned in her chair. “Getting myself in the zone.”

Camilla burst out laughing. “You make it sound as though you mean to fight  _ Amadeus. _ But I’ll tell you right now, if you punch your fist through the monitor or anything, you’ll foot the expenses.”

“I-I wouldn’t do that! I don’t punch things! Why would I punch the screen anyway?”

“One of our lab assistants, Felicia, was caught off guard once when  _ Amadeus _ loaded up on the screen. Out of panic, she punched her fist straight through thinking that it was someone spying on her,” Camilla said, chuckling.

Corrin’s heart stopped when she heard another voice -- a voice she hadn’t heard in months -- speak up. “That caught me by surprise, as well.”

Turning her gaze back onto the screen, Corrin felt everything stop at once. Her heart, her thoughts, the moon around the earth, the earth around the sun, the galaxy in all its infiniteness all came to a halt as Corrin stared into the unmistakable, carbon-copy image and likeness of  _ Azura.  _

The exact same golden gaze. The exact same strand of sky-blue hair trailing down the center of her face. The exact same head tilt done in curiosity at seeing something new.

“Ah, Azura, this is Corrin, a new colleague of mine,” Camilla said, as if she were having a casual chat with any real, living person. “She was interested in getting to know more about  _ Amadeus,  _ so we had her come here to meet you.”

“I see,” Azura said; she lowered her head in greeting. “It’s nice to meet you, Corrin. I am Azura.”

Corrin, shaken, blinked several times, her hands tightly gripping the armrests. To speak to her again. Like she was here. Like she was alive. It didn’t feel real at all.

But then again.  _ Amadeus _ wasn’t real. This wasn’t the real Azura. She had to remember that.

But it looked so much like her. Sounded exactly like her. Acted exactly like her.

“Are you also researching AI, Corrin?” Azura asked; and there, on the monitor, she crossed her arms -- just as she used to do, such a familiar gesture that Corrin’s heart ached in her chest.

“Corrin’s from the local university nearby,” Camilla answered. “She’s a student.”

Azura looked Corrin up and down, the webcam on the monitor focusing and re-focusing. “You must be quite the student, then. I don’t believe Camilla would bring just anyone here.”

For the entirety of the conversation, Corrin had remained speechless, overwhelmed with the startling fact that she was speaking to Azura  _ again, _ after everything that had happened. All she could do was stare, her thoughts a jumble as she tried to process her new reality.

A little nudge at her elbow jolted her, and Corrin swallowed, glancing at Camilla to see her with eyebrows raised. She did a little jerk of her head, as if silently saying  _ talk to her. _

“I...I’m a student, yeah,” was all Corrin could think of saying in the moment. The second the words came out Corrin winced a little at how lame it sounded. Great first impression.

“Well, if there’s anything you’d like to ask me, please feel free to ask. I will do my best to answer.”

“Uh…Right,” Corrin said, reaching up and running a trembling hand through her hair. “What...What’s your opinion on the possibility of the existence of alternate universes?”

Azura raised a thoughtful hand to her chin, biting her lip as she looked off into a corner of the room. “An interesting question, Corrin. I’m intrigued.”

“Why ask that?” Camilla piped up. “That’s quite a curveball to throw.”

“Just a thought experiment,” Corrin said. “I just want to see how she answers.”

“And I do have an answer.”

Corrin turned around in her chair to see Azura looking straight at her, and a shiver ran down her spine.

“I personally believe they might exist.” Azura tapped her finger on her chin again. “I’m not quite so certain we can ever prove that they do, however. But,” she added, a spark of curiosity in her eyes. “It might be possible to do so in the future, to prove that alternate realities exist and maybe even access them or travel to them, in some way.”

“R-really?” Corrin asked, stunned. “You think it’s possible to...to travel to alternate realities?”

“At the moment, I don’t believe it is. But there exists the possibility that we have yet to find the critical piece of information necessary to indeed prove that alternate realities -- or, more accurately, alternate timelines -- exist.”

Camilla leaned in, whispering in Corrin’s ear, “Was that the answer you were expecting?”

In the same low tone, Corrin said, “It’s...almost the same. But...it does sound like an answer she would give.” She would have to think on Amadeus’ answer some more. Close enough. But she had a nagging suspicion in the back of her mind that explained the difference -- but she had put away those thoughts and sealed that coffin long ago. Literally and figuratively.

At that moment, the door opened behind them; Camilla and Corrin turned in their chairs to see Xander entering the room, a friendly smile on his face as he strode over to them. He greeted them all warmly, giving a nod in greeting to Azura before turning to Corrin and asking her thoughts about  _ Amadeus. _

Truth be told, she had a  _ lot _ of thoughts, but she wasn’t quite sure Xander or Camilla really wanted to hear all of it, so she carefully condensed her answer; she spoke of high praise, first, of accomplishing something so advanced, and then open respect for the amount of work needed to create it.

Her response seemed satisfactory enough to both Xander and Camilla, and they ended the session for the day; Azura gave a nod in farewell before Camilla logged out of the computer, and as Corrin made to close the door behind her, she bit her lip, casting one last glance at the computer screen before leaving.

\---

Camilla and Xander ended up asking her if she’d be willing to be a ‘test subject’ for  _ Amadeus;  _ since Azura had only ever spoken to the lab members, she’d never had experience speaking to anyone outside, to anyone part of the real world at large. Xander saw an opportunity in Corrin -- for  _ Amadeus _ to further evolve and grow. 

“Camilla and I are running out of things to talk to her about,” Xander said a few days later, when the three of them were having lunch at a cafe on the university campus. “I believe Azura could gain even greater awareness and sentience if she speaks to someone new.”

“And that someone new is me,” Corrin said.

“It is,” Camilla said, reaching a hand up to Corrin’s shoulder. “But again, if you don’t want to do this, we completely understand. We aren’t exactly paying you to be a researcher, anyway. So if you don’t want to do this, or if you want to start this and quit after a few weeks, we would understand.”

Looking down at the cup of coffee in her hands, Corrin mulled it over in her mind. Her brain said no, because it would be stupid to rip open old wounds that were just barely beginning to heal. Her heart said yes, because it was curious and most importantly, stupid, like hearts tend to be.

“Sure,” Corrin said finally. “I can try to talk to her.”

Camilla ended up downloading an app on Corrin’s phone that allowed  _ Amadeus _ to contact her; she would receive video calls from Azura as if she were like any other real person in the world.

But she wasn’t.

But no matter how many times Corrin tried to repeat that to herself, no matter how many times her brain repeated over and over that  _ Amadeus _ was nothing more than lines of code and bits and bytes, her heart always ached to see something more -- to see someone it missed so dearly.

\---

The first call she got from  _ Amadeus _ was when she was lying in bed, scrolling through a depressing timeline of news articles detailing how international relations were failing between two major world powers. Right as she went to tap on another article, the  _ Amadeus _ app flashed across her screen.

Her heart sped up in her chest. She gripped her phone a little harder than necessary, staring at the screen.

She took a little too long to decide, and the call ended. Corrin let out a breath of relief she didn’t even know she’d been holding.

But then the call went up again, the two buttons to ‘Answer’ and ‘Ignore’ sat adamantly before her. Her shoulders stiffened, but then she sighed.

Reaching over to turn on the lamp on her nightstand, Corrin picked up her pair of earphones and plugged them into her phone before settling back onto her pillows. Her thumb hovered over the ‘Answer’ button for another moment, before she caved in and pressed it.

And there Azura was, on her phone screen. Looking as real as ever. Corrin had to fight the urge to grimace.

“Corrin! You’re awake,” Azura said, a smile of relief coming across her face.

“I mean,” Corrin said, glancing at the clock on her bedroom wall. “It’s only 8 PM.”

“I know. I was just...I wanted to be clear with you on something.”

Corrin had the feeling she knew exactly what it was, but nonetheless she asked, “What is it?”

Discomfort came across Azura then, and she wrapped an arm around herself. “Xander and Camilla told me you would be...an additional person for me to talk to. I understand you might be busy, as a student, but I’m...confused as to why you haven’t called in the past two weeks.”

Shit. There it was. Corrin knew she’d be called out sooner or later on avoiding this one responsibility. Ever since she’d gotten the app from Camilla, Corrin had never once actually gone and used it. Each time she’d thought of doing it, her thumb had hovered over the ‘Call’ button, her entire hand trembling before she would shut her eyes and shake her head, before shoving her phone into her pocket and moving on with her day.

She’d just never figured out what she would be able to say. That seeing Azura, even a fake version of her, made her heart ache with a heavy sadness that brought her close to tears? That even hearing Azura’s voice again made her thoughts a mess and her breath catch in her throat? She’d come to accept over the past few months that she would never again hear Azura laugh, or hum, or sing ever again -- but yet, here was a copy of her that certainly could do all those things.

And that kind of fragile hope, she knew, was lethal.

“I...was busy,” Corrin said, shiftily glancing away. Damn it. That was so obviously a lie that even Azura could hear it, and her face fell a little.

“Oh. I see.” Azura looked downcast, pulling in on herself a little. “I apologize, for bothering you.”

Corrin’s heart twisted in her chest. That look of sadness on Azura’s face -- Corrin couldn’t bear it.

“No, I should be the one apologizing,” Corrin sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I should’ve done what I said I was going to do. It was rude of me not to do so. Is...there something you wanted to talk to me about?”

Azura said tentatively, “It’s a little presumptuous of me to ask, but I was wondering if you could show me the city that you live in. I’ve heard it’s the city that never sleeps, so to speak.”

At Corrin’s look of hesitation, Azura quickly added, “I know it’s late. I understand if you’re not able to do this now--”

“No, no, it’s fine. I don’t have any other plans for tonight, anyway.” Corrin got up out of bed, heading to her closet to put on some warmer clothing. “Just wait a sec. I gotta get dressed.”

She ended up tossing her phone onto her bed -- Azura looked a bit jostled at the movement -- and grabbing her jeans and coat before putting her earbuds back in her ears and leaving the room. Silas sat in the living room, playing video games as he was to do every night; Corrin quickly told him she’d be out for a bit, to which he responded with a nod and shrug, casting a curious glance at Azura on Corrin’s phone screen.

Corrin gave him a quick shake of her head, a warning; he bit his lip, but said nothing.

And so Corrin headed into the city, with Azura in the breast pocket of her jacket.

\---

She ended up exploring the main streets, filled with tourists and pedestrians of all kinds; Corrin made sure to point out some famous landmarks, like the statue of a loyal dog at a train station, or the tallest skyscraper, or some of the niche restaurants settled inside alleyways and back streets.

And Azura took it all in stride, expressing awe and wonder at all the new sights, comparing it to the less than ideal suburbia back at home.

At one point, Azura excitedly said in Corrin’s ear, “Oh! Down the street, that looks like a bakery!”

And it was. It was the bakery Azura had loved most dearly, for it had those special fruit tarts she always craved. As Corrin stood there on the sidewalk, she saw the flash of memory in her mind’s eye, of she and Azura sitting at the table in the corner next to the window, grinning as they each split a small piece of cake together.

Corrin inhaled sharply through her gritted teeth and abruptly turned around, hurrying away.

“Corrin?” Azura asked, and Corrin felt her phone vibrate in her breast pocket. “Could you go over to--”

“No, I can’t.” Her words came out sharper and colder than she’d intended, surprising even herself. “I mean, I’m sorry, Azura. I just. Not today.”

Azura remained silent for a few more minutes as Corrin aimlessly wandered down the sidewalk, not quite sure of where to go next but sure enough to know that she couldn’t bear the thought of going back down the street to the bakery. She ended up entering an electronics shop and meandering around, mindlessly picking things up and holding it in front of her phone’s camera; she got muted responses from Azura, who seemed slightly more reserved than before.

It was only when Corrin stopped in an alleyway, bending down onto her haunches to press a coin into a gacha machine that Azura finally spoke up.

“Corrin?”

“Yeah?” Corrin asked, twisting the dial and hearing the familiar  _ clunk clunk _ of the wheels inside.

“I didn’t mean to upset you, if I have. I apologize.”

The little plastic capsule rolled into the basin at the bottom of the machine, and Corrin picked it up, turning the thing between her fingers.

“It’s fine, Azura.” She pried the the two halves of the capsule apart; within it was a little dragon, its tiny claws extended out mid-attack.

Azura didn’t sound so convinced. “Corrin, truly, if I’m doing something you dislike, then please tell me.”

Corrin pinched the little dragon in between her thumb and forefinger, rotating it in the dim lighting of the streetlight nearby. The slight sharpness to Azura’s tone -- it was so like her to speak that way, with just that edge of bluntness and hint of resolve. She’d never been one to take no for an answer. Nor had she ever been one to accept a lie for an answer, either.

Corrin’s heart ached.

Even after all these months...She still missed her.

Standing up, Corrin pocketed the little dragon before taking her phone out and holding it before her. “I think I’m going to have to call it, for today,” she said, looking at Azura on her phone screen but not quite seeing her, either. “I’m a bit tired. I’ll see you later, Azura.”

“Corrin,  _ wait--” _

Corrin hung up.

\---

“I don’t think Corrin enjoys talking to me, Camilla.”

In the lab, Camilla sat at her desk, her laptop open as she ran through the most recent data logs for another experiment she’d been running; Azura herself was in a small window in the corner of the screen, her brow furrowed, the corners of her lips turned down in a slight frown.

“No, I don’t imagine she does,” Camilla said, clicking into another window.

“Then...I don’t understand. She volunteered to be another research tester but--”

“Doesn’t follow up on actually doing that? It’s confusing to you, isn’t it?”

“It is! I--I simply don’t understand. If she didn’t want to talk to me, then why volunteer in the first place?”

A sad laugh came from Camilla, and she leaned back in her chair. “Oh, Azura. That part of you hasn’t changed.”

Surprised, Azura asked, “What part?”

Camilla shook her head in amusement. “Anyway, in circumstances like this, I think you should take the initiative and call Corrin first. It might look like she doesn’t like it, but I think it helps her if you call her first.”

“Helps her? In what way? I feel like I’m bothering her more than I’m helping her.”

“Corrin’s just a tough nut to crack,” Camilla said, resuming her search through some data logs. “Under normal circumstances I would say otherwise, but I think just this once -- try and call her again. If Corrin doesn’t answer you, then I’ll tell her I’ll let her go, and you won’t have to feel disappointed anymore, hm?”

Azura bit her lip. It was good enough advice.

\---

A week later, Corrin sat in the library, poring over several textbooks as she finished the final page of an essay due the next day. Just when she was about to finish writing the last sentence, her phone vibrated in her pocket; glancing around to make sure she hadn’t disturbed anyone else, Corrin carefully slid her phone out and checked the caller ID.

_ Amadeus. _

Azura was calling her again.

She plugged her earphones into her phone and pressed ‘Answer.’

“Corrin--”

Corrin immediately raised a finger to her lips, gesturing at the shelves of books around her; Azura got the message well enough and kept silent as Corrin stood up and found an exit outside.

Once the door closed behind her, and Corrin found a shady spot to stand in to hide from the afternoon sun, she asked, “Azura, did you need something?”

“Um,” Azura started, uncertainty crossing her face again. “First, I didn’t mean to call you at a bad time, if you were studying in the library.”

“Nah, I’m almost done with my essay anyway. And, honestly, I’ve been cooped up in there for the past couple hours anyway. I could do with a walk.”

“That sounds wonderful. Would you mind if...I could…?”

Corrin hesitated for a second, feeling herself torn between doing what was smart and what was stupid. 

“Sure,” she ended up saying anyway. “I can bring you around the campus, I guess.” Corrin placed her phone in her breast pocket again, the back camera poking up over the top of the pocket as Corrin began her stroll through the university grounds.

Azura said nothing for a few minutes, just taking in the sights of where Corrin frequented often; the science building, the engineering building. Corrin was thankful Azura couldn’t see her expression just then, for she felt a bit of awkwardness as she shoved her hands in her pockets, trying not to recall just how their last conversation had gone.

Truth be told, she’d thought about it a lot over the past week. It brought her a bit of bitter irony, too, because her first impression with Azura back then hadn’t been that great either -- of course, her first interaction with AI Azura would play out in a similar fashion.

“Um, Azura,” Corrin said, sitting down on a bench in the middle of a small plaza. “I, uh, wanted to apologize. For last time. I overreacted. I’m sorry.”

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, Corrin saw Azura with an expression half apprehensive and half unsure. “It’s alright. I can understand why talking to me might not...be the most easiest thing to do. I’m...not quite the conversationalist.”

“Yeah, you never really were.”

Azura bristled with indignation. “Excuse me?”

Chuckling, Corrin said, “I’m just agreeing with you. I thought you’d like that.”

“Th-there’s no need to tell me I’m bad at talking to people! I’m already aware!”

Corrin couldn’t help but smile a little. That familiar banter. “That was always one of the most strangest things to me. You could walk up in front of a full audience and talk about your presentation with all this confidence but when it came to birthdays or parties you were always the odd one out.”

“Stage confidence is different!” Azura said, crossing her arms. “There, it’s only a one-time kind of thing.”

“Sure, sure, try and explain it whatever way you want, Azura,” Corrin said, standing back up and pocketing Azura again.

“It’s true! Y-you just don’t understand it, Corrin. It’s a different kind of emotion--”

“Mhm. Uh-huh. Sure.” 

Corrin laughed when she heard Azura give a huff of irritation. “Alright, alright. I gotta get back to the library soon, but I can show you some more parts of campus.”

Azura thankfully acquiesced, and Corrin made her way around again, pointing out the fountain where she always met up with Silas after class, the cafe where she sometimes did her work, the rooftop garden at the top of the engineering building she liked to go to whenever she needed a break from class. 

“Oh, goodness, these flowers are beautiful, Corrin,” Azura said as Corrin crouched down next to a row of lilies and roses and other vibrant flowers nestled in a garden bed along the edge of the rooftop.

“Yeah, they are,” Corrin said, unable to hide a hint of sadness. “You, um, you really liked coming here a lot, too. We came here together, sometimes.”

“The original me?”

“...Yeah.” Tightness coiled around her chest again, and Corrin pressed a hand against her heart, grimacing in discomfort; nonetheless, she continued, “We’re not supposed to, but sometimes we’d take flowers from here and bring ‘em back to the apartment.”

“I didn’t take you to be a rule-breaker, Corrin.”

“I’m usually not,” Corrin said, glancing around before casually picking a lily. “But Sakura really likes flowers, too, and she’d always be happy whenever we brought them back.”

“Sakura?”

Oh. Right. “Sakura’s my little sister. Or, kind of. We’re childhood friends. You and her got along really well, too. She’s really sweet.” Corrin paused for a moment, hesitation holding back her tongue, but she continued, “Maybe you can meet her, one day.”

As if caught by surprise, it took Azura a few seconds to answer. “...I wouldn’t mind that, actually.”

\---

A few days passed, with Azura calling first and Corrin would pause whatever she was doing to answer. Sometimes it was a few minutes of conversation, when Corrin would ask her about her thoughts on some of the things she herself was learning in class, or sometimes Azura would ask Corrin to take her around for a bit around the city. At one point, Azura requested Corrin to somehow tape her phone to a flying drone so Azura could move around freely, to which Corrin adamantly said no. That had brought a laugh to Corrin then, to see Azura with crossed arms and an unhappy expression -- but even Azura cracked a smile. Then there was another time when Azura asked Corrin to play a few games at an arcade, to which Corrin did absolutely terrible at, failing to even win on ‘easy’ mode. That brought a laugh from Azura, her hand raised to cover her mouth as she tried to stifle her amusement at Corrin’s bristling indignation at her own failure.

It felt so similar to...back then.

A day came when Corrin got dinner again with Xander and Camilla; while Xander watched with interest as Corrin recited her experience with Azura, Camilla however, watched with a growingly concerned expression. It was only at the end of the dinner, when Xander excused himself to take a phonecall, that Camilla turned her attention onto Corrin.

“So your experience with  _ Amadeus _ has been a positive one, so far,” Camilla said carefully.

“It has.” Softness came to her tone as Corrin held her phone in her hands. “She’s wonderful. And just as funny, and lovely. Talking with her has...been really nice.” To hear Azura laugh again, to hear Azura chuckle at Corrin’s bad attempts to hum or sing in her off-key tone, to see Azura brighten up at some joke, or to see Azura roll her eyes at some little tease.

It all felt nice.

But in truth, it was nothing more than band-aids placed over an amputated limb, temporary and nowhere near enough to save her from another inevitable heartbreak.

And Camilla was there to remind her of that.

_ “Corrin.” _

The abrupt sharpness of Camilla’s tone made Corrin look up -- and her blood ran cold when she saw the burning intensity of Camilla’s gaze.

“Azura is dead, Corrin. Do you understand that?”

Her instinctive answer to say ‘yes’ was choked back in her throat, and a tidal wave of reality broke through to what little false reprieve she’d played in with Azura -- no,  _ Amadeus -- _ the past few weeks; what she’d so desperately tried to not  _ remember _ pummeled straight into her chest, and Corrin cringed, her nails digging into the back of her phone.

“I--”

“I told you, Corrin,” Camilla said unflinchingly, barreling over whatever Corrin was trying to choke out. “It is easy to be deluded by  _ Amadeus, _ to believe that what  _ it _ is, is the real thing. But it is not.  _ Amadeus  _ is not Azura, nor will it ever be. That is the truth of our reality, of  _ this _ reality.”

Of this reality. Camilla was right. In this reality, Azura is dead.

But in other realities. In other timelines. Azura is alive.

But Corrin couldn’t say that, couldn’t bring herself to relive the number of infinite times she’d gone back in time over and over and over to try to  _ save _ the people she cared about. But the price to pay, to save the people closest to her, was to sacrifice Azura -- the one person in the world she’d become the closest to.

“O-of this reality,” Corrin whispered. “I know. I know that.  _ Amadeus _ isn’t real.”

Camilla shifted in her seat, glancing around; there was no else in the restaurant, aside from them, and Camilla leaned in close.

“Your question to  _ Amadeus _ on that first day. About time-travel and alternate timelines. She spoke with you about it, didn’t she? When she was here?”

When Corrin didn’t answer, instead turning her gaze away to stare at the ground as she wrapped her arms around herself, Camilla scooted her chair only closer.

“Corrin, I know your story doesn’t line up. Azura had only been abroad for a week before she was killed. It’s impossible the two of you could’ve gotten that close in that timespan.”

Her heart rate increasing and her breaths coming out ragged, panic began to slip its fingers around Corrin’s mind, and she stared at Camilla with wide eyes. “W-what are you--”

“But you know her so well.” Camilla’s hand came up onto Corrin’s shoulder, steadying her and keeping her grounded. “Corrin, listen to me. I am not placing blame on you for anything. I simply want to know the truth.”

The truth. Oh, how could she ever explain it? When she’d tried to tell Silas and Sakura what had happened, neither of them had truly understood. Infinite number of failures. Infinite number of deaths. A constant cycle, an ouroboros of despair and loss. And the only way out of it had been to sacrifice Azura in this timeline.

And Azura herself had been the one to accept it.

“I...We accomplished time travel,” Corrin whispered. “Azura and me. We found a way to do it.”

She found herself shaking, and Camilla rubbed a comforting hand up and down her arm.

“I’m the only one who remembers it. I don’t know why. I can...I can jump timelines, while still remembering the old ones. But the price to do that -- it’s too high, Camilla, the way time works, the way  _ fate  _ works--” Corrin shut her eyes tight, curling up into a ball on her chair. “You can’t fight God, Camilla.”

Camilla sat at her side, keeping silent as Corrin continued on.

“She didn’t think it was possible to do it, when we first met. We met at a time travel seminar, actually.” Everything came flooding out at once, held back for so long. “But somehow, some stupid microwave invention Silas and I made, it...Azura’s theories were right. You could transfer  _ memories _ back in time. As digital data. Bits and bytes are small enough to fit through the space-time continuum.”

Camilla let out a shaky exhale. “Azura was right. She was right -- she just never had the crucial piece to actually do it. Your invention, whatever the hell it is.” She looked away, disbelief coming across her face as she said, “So...In other timelines, then, you saw Azura alive. She was alive.”

“She was,” Corrin said. “But other people died to make up for it.”

“But then there must be a reality when  _ no one _ dies,” Camilla said, her voice a little stronger. “It’s plausible that with an infinite number of realities, of timelines, then at least  _ one  _ must be the ideal timeline--”

“It’s possible. It is possible,” Corrin whispered. “But...it would mean  _ doing _ the impossible. It would mean Azura would have to die without being killed. And that doesn’t make any sense.”

“You’re smart, Corrin. If each timeline is different only because of one decision, then there must be a singular decision in the past that must’ve set this universe to have Azura dead and a war in our future,” Camilla said. “Undoing that decision -- it might save us.”

As much as she hated it, as much as she didn’t want to feel it, Corrin, for the first time in months, felt a spark of hope inside her chest. Reducing the problem down to something smaller helped, certainly, and with Camilla’s confidence backing her up, maybe she could…

“Think, Corrin.”

Tossing her phone onto the table, Corrin buried her face in her hands, inhaling deeply through her nose. She was thinking, most certainly. But how to get around the impossible?

But time travel itself was meant to be impossible. And she’d done that.

With Azura’s help, she’d done the impossible.

Maybe she could pull it off again. Azura herself might not be here, but Corrin thought of something -- of someone -- else.

“...I have...ideas. Let’s get to the lab. And let’s see what  _ Amadeus _ has to say about it.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! i liked a lot of parts of this fic so i thought it'd be nice to post  
> also because i'll be out to a convention this weekend getting no writing done probably lol so this is like my weekly post-something update lol  
> it was actually kind of refreshing to write suffering lol since i write azurrin happy all the time so this was a nice break to have and write


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